Screwing the Internet Spamming Scammer
Learning to love Spam - the email kind, not the canned meat
Few computer users on the planet – make that “no” computer users –
have not received unsolicited emails offering everything from quick
stock tips, how to “Meet Singles in Your Area,” credit card
applications, a promise of a free laptop, free vacation, collection of CDs for a penny, or free car insurance quotes.
The spam
filter software phenomenon is a multi-million-dollar industry and, for
the most part, the software is well worth the money. But those that
spam, that make their living from blast emailing millions of mail
offers too good to pass up per year, routinely find a way to get around
virtually any spam filter. That is accomplished by inventive subject
lines that intentionally circumvent the litany of words that trigger
spam filters: Rich, deal, fortune, stock, quick . . . and myriad others.
It’s inconceivable that a large number of computer users would invite spammers to infest a personal computer. Those that do are either extremely lonely, desire to get mail – any type of mail – fall into the category of cyperspace masochists, or are simply interested in the verbal foreplay. Many computer users get dragged into Spammer Hell unwittingly. It’s relatively simple to do: Fill out an online questionnaire for something as innocuous as trying to win a free computer, DVD player, or free dinners or movie tickets and a deluge of offers – real and surreal – will pop up with the frequency of woodland mushrooms after a spring shower.
A half-completed, simple questionnaire from a reputedly on-the-level research firm about personal preferences in regard to reading material, soft drink, music preference, and other common discussion-of-life topics resulted in hundreds of spam emails flooding a single Google gmail address.
The first week after the spam “hook” was dropped into the email ocean, 121 spammers dropped off invitations: Try a new cookbook, get a new credit card with “no interest” for a year; try out an online encyclopedia service; sign up for hot stock tips; “win” a free plasma TV; and a link to a soft porn site based on the Scooby-Do character. (Scooby-Do, not Shaggy.)
By Week 6, more than 2,100 spam emails had made their way to the in-basket. Of that number, 427 were answer-this-because-I-want-your-money scams. Five months after the initial spam message, more than twenty spam emails were still coming in daily.
It is no secret to law enforcement and bank officials, or dispirited victims who buy in to scams. that sales tools of the scammers include a variety of “hooks,” with greed being the largest and most weighty of the instruments of your destruction. There are few people on the planet that would not jump at the prospect for large sums of money for relatively little effort. Look at the everyday examples: Those who religiously play the lottery; gamblers of all levels and degree of professionalism; televangelists; and, many professional athletes.
What turns a scammer on? The thrill of the hunt and the imagined reward. Scammers look for “high signs,” words or phrases that trigger a response to hit the victim on a certain level of emotion. One scam message might be sent out to generate a small “courier fee” for quick, down-and-dirty transfer of cash. But if the victim lets it slip he or she is living off an “insurance settlement” trust fund, the scammer takes on a different life and the monetary target is increased exponentially.
If you are religious and pulpit-pound your chest in your contact with them, the next email usually include phrases like “The Lord be With You” or “Praise Jesus” or “I am most happy to be communicating with another person of faith. Praise God.”
If it is revealed the intended victim has an illness or affliction, the words of sympathy and solace pour forth like healing elixir from a computer fountain. The targeted victim will be reassured the malady – regardless of what it is –will not in any way deter their participation in the too-good-to-believe proposition. Information about a deceased loved one from a victim brings forth words of support.
Often the scammer will one-up the victim, relating horrible tales of personal tragedy and woe. That holds true unless the original letter contained a story about a murdered relative, or one who died in a plane crash, assassination, or is lying in a “cancerous condition” on the brink of death. In that case, the intended victim will be reminded – again and again – about the situation, striving for maximum sympathy, digging the emotion-filled hook in ever deeper.
Some scammers, when all else fails, make the ultimate sacrifice. They actually “die” during the email correspondence to add a nice grief garnish to the pitch. It’s not unusual for the scammer to claim to be fading fast, but still valiantly trying to leave his or her money to a deserving and good person – you – before Death rides in, cloak flowing in his wake, scythe swinging.
Relying as most scammers do on a prepared script for the initial contact, any deviation from the patented spiel the connivers expect to hear in return can cause immediate cessation of email contact and dismissal of the victim. Goodbye. And on to the next mark. Or, the confusion caused by a non-expected answer can trigger curiosity, and the scammers themselves become the scammed.
If a foreign-based scammer runs head-long into a word or phrase they
don’t know, they take the action of the shrewd ignorant: They ignore
it. A good example is the acronym sometimes stuck in emails: ESAD! Only
one scammer ever asked what it meant: Eat S^$t and Die!
Spam virgins give ‘it’ up*
Note: Bible scriptures in bold were not included in the email, only the book, chapter and verse.
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Original email: Sept. 2 5:21 a.m.
Subject: I NEED YOR ASSISTANCE!
Dear Sir/madam:
I do not know to what extent you are familiar with events and fragile political situation in my country Liberia, but it has formed consistent headlines in the CNN, BBC news bulletins. I will so glad if you can accept to lead me to the right channel by means of your assistance to my situation now.I will make my proposal well known if I am given the opportunity. I would like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you.
I am Miss Justina Amudu from Liberia,the daughter of Late Mr David Amudu Chief Financial Officer for Budget under the leadership of president Charles Taylor who went for excile and presently facing trial on a case of genocide as for the killing of innocent souls.I and my brother are presently under asylum in Senegal. The main reason why I am contacting you now is to seek your assistance in the area of our better future living and investment of huge sum Seven millon five hundred thousand dollars (us$7,500.000) my late father deposited for safe keeping under Finance company,Dakar -Senegal, in my name for safe keeping
I want you to help me claim the money for transfer to your country on my behalf. As I have mention earlier I will give you more details on this issue on your acceptance to help me.
Pls send me your direct phone contact to reach you in your reply.
Thanks,i am waiting your reply.
Sincerely yours,
Miss Justina Amudu
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Reply: Sept. 2 7:12 a.m.
Subject: I want to help
My daughter is in charge of my trust. Please since my accident and long recooperation period, she has my attorney power. Please contact her and tell her that I think this program has great possibilities.
George “Bubba” Smith
Exodus 22:7
("If a man gives his neighbor silver or goods for safekeeping and they are stolen from the neighbor's house, the thief, if he is caught, must pay back double.”)
CC: Claire Smith Voient
Reply: from ‘Claire’: Sept. 2 9:42 a.m.
Subject: Father can’t help
My father is, unfortunately, very senile and has no trust and no money. Please remove him from your email list, along with my email. I don't have any money either.
Claire Smith Voient
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Reply: ‘Bubba”: Sept. 2 5:05 p.m.
Subject: FW: Father can’t help
Ms. Amudu:
This is just so unfair! I have money! I gave my ungreatful daughter my attorney power. I had money and now it's gone! Where is Fonzie when you need him! Aaaaaieeeee!
Little Joe Cartwright must have my money. Senile is as penile does.
DooDah DooDah day!
What is happening to me? I am melting!!!!!!!!!
ESAD!
George “Bubba” Smith
Psalm 50:18
(When you see a thief, you join with him; . . .)
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Reply: “Butch” Sept. 2 9:42 p.m.
Subject: Father can help
The gracious and lovely Ms. Amudu:
I want to apologize for my daughter and myself. My daughter is still upset because she didn't get as much of the cash settlement as she thought she would. And she punishes me by not giving me my medication.
But I have a big supply now and I know it's time that I start investing my money in prepostiions like you are offering. What information do you need for me to get the show on the road?????
I know it's not really a "show" but in the United States we are big on using phrases like "show on the road." That just means, let's get started.
George “Bubba” Smith
Zechariah 5:3
(And he said to me, "This is the curse that is going out over the whole land; for according to what it says on one side, every thief will be banished, and according to what it says on the other, everyone who swears falsely will be banished.)
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Reply: Ms. Amudu: Sept. 2 10:05 a.m.
I do not see how we can wark together when you don’t make senses. We will wark with someone elses. I am waiting your replys.
Mrs. Justin Amudu
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Reply: “Claire”: Sept. 2, 2006 10:42 a.m.
Subject: RE: Father can’t help
Ms. Amudu:
Please, once again, forgive my father's email. The nursing home is not supposed to give him access to the Internet – something about patient "rights" – although if they had been raised by his insane parenting skills that included punishment in the form of a cast iron biscuit pan, they would not think that he should have any "rights" at all except the "right" to remain silent.
He does not now, nor will he ever, have a trust or any type of funds available to him except the $30 a month the nursing home allows him to keep in his account, and he spends all that money on chocolate donuts.
I hope you haven't been too inconvenienced. I'm certain this a legitimate business and I would hate for our family conflict to keep you from doing other meaningful things – like those people who send illegitimate money offers hoping some idiot will take them up on it. Don't you just hate that?
Claire Smith Voient
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The length the Smiths go to in enticing scammers to keep trying to divest them of money -- including offers of marriage, planning trips to meet in foreign countries, and, even, by dying in incredulous mishaps -- make Scamming the Internet Spamming Scammers a wild and frolicking look at the greedy side of life.